past few days received two job notifications.. i didnt really find the two jobs on my own though.. was planning to go back to NUS High again but my ex colleague said they don't really need another temp now cos there is a temp guy already.. then received info from my mum that i may be able to get a childcare job ( sthg that i really want!!).. but the next day, my ex colleague from NUS High msged and said that her temp's hospitalised and will be resigning and she was like, "i hope you havent been looking for jobs? come back pleaseee.." so in the end i'll still be working at NUS High after all.. rawr. just when i could work with little kids.. anyway, it may well be a blessing in disguise since i hate changes.. going back to somewhere familiar may be good after all.. but i cant believe im gonna give up on working with kids just like that.. cos it's really very difficult to get a temp childcare job.. *sniffs* and for all you know, i might open a childcare/orphanage someday! haha. my dream la~

anyway, my crazy colleague then told me that i could start work today.. i was like "WHAT!?" im not even a week into my holidays la. just ended exams like last thurs.. and today's tues.. anyway, i'll be starting work next monday.. might as well start early since MOST (ahahaha) of my friends are working already.. and $$ is my motivation factor.. but the thought of working for 3 full months kinda turn me off.. haha. i know im contradicting myself.. but seriously working for 3 months from 8.30am to 6pm is totally no life la! i can already imagine how my monotonous life would be like.. after work will be dinner.. then after dinner, i will have to practise my pieces cos concert and exam are like coming soooo soon!? and by then i would be left with about 1 hour of free time before i head off to bed. haha and that's because i insist on getting 7-8h of sleep per day.. and i think that 1 hour will be spent going online and doing Quiet Time.. and im so gonna quit my job at the end of aug.. though my colleague kinda hope i can stay till mid sept.. but noooo, im gonna nua the first two weeks of sept away~ *yawns* the mere thought of working makes me sleepy.. Zzz..

Part 1


Part 2


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today's entry will be a mixture of english and chinese as and when i like, to show that im bilingual! hahaha. okay just kidding. just have the sudden urge to type in chinese. im missing the use of the chinese language alot. haha. i think it's time for me to reply my china penpal. but it's very difficult for me to say comforting words in chinese. sighs. i'll just try. i have sthg i wanna post to her since eons ago!

-

anyway, im so sad la! everybody's found jobs.. and nobody can go out with me, except on weekends! so currently, im like free next tues and fri! book me please!! if not i won't have enough fun before starting work! ): oh ya i forgot. everybody doesnt include sinyee (the slug) btw! hahaha. she's forever in the "im-looking-for-a-job" stage.. for EVERY holiday. and she'll end up doing road shows (not as the model pls) and not having a regular job. tsktskk. and that explains why she was able to go out with me on Friday!

okay so we went town on Friday and i was so glad i didnt bump into Nageb cos he told me he was going there on Friday too. but i bet he was kidding la. you should have seen me gasping when i saw this head bent down that looks like his! bald and shiny but streaks of hair at the side! but luckily it wasnt him.. and!! i think ive done soooo muuucch online shopping that i could recognize soooo many similar pieces that were sold both online and at FarEast. and furthermore, i remembered which site was selling what and for how much and for some pieces, the measurements.. *GASP* but i didnt like deliberately memorised the figures.. and i kept telling sy i saw which piece where and how much yadayada until she got quite annoyed and told me i should use my photographic brain on my studies! but it doesnt work la. my brain only works for things that interests me. sighs~ and after half a day there, i can safely say that as compared to the pieces they are selling, online shopping is cheaper. but the fact that we cant try and cant scrutinize at every bit of the clothing etc offsets the whole thing i guess.

in conclusion, i think i will continue shopping online. hahahaha.

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昨天依旧在 youth service 后，与 cellies 到了 motherland 吃晚餐。可能表面上我看起来还好，但是偶尔会觉得融不进他们的世界。可能是 frequency 不一样的关系吧？但也不至于听不懂他们说的话。只是有时他们说的笑话，我觉得一点都不好笑。总觉得自己在他们面前很放不开。跟一些人说话，总是战战兢兢的，偶尔说的话并不是心理所想的。觉得自己好虚伪。有时候，觉得蛮辛苦的。可是我又不想因为这些小挫折而逃避去 cell group 或 youth service. 毕竟已经撑了四，五个月了。因为是我的 year 2008 resolution, 真的不想这么轻易就放弃。

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其实觉得自己是不会被你影响的，可是不知道为什么自己总是不知不觉地注意你的一举一动。然后，被你所说的一些话语影响。我不太想继续思考其中的原因，因为太累了。

在不该下雨的季节里，我们平行的思念被连根拔起。

Part 1 - starstarII with shino


Part 2 - starstarII's impromptu song with jeff chang


JJ Lin and Albert, this LA guy~ niceee~


i don't know why im so worried.. but ah, heck.

090508

haha suddenly think this song's very nice.. it was actually the song jl sang 2 weeks ago.. incidentally, another of my piano teacher's student will be playing this song for our annual piano concert in june.. eeks so unfair that they get to play pop songs and im playing my exam pieces.. anyway, i heard 光良's live version on 933 last night.. and it was really nice! (:

我带着一颗疲惫的心走了
我知道自己在你心里已不重要
虽然我们曾经相聚过
也许对于你来说
已经没有什么值得回忆

我带着一颗沉重的心走了
我知道自己没有勇气道别离
虽然我们曾经拥有过
但是对于你来说
已经没有什么值得回忆

难道早已注定不能真正拥有你
难道我真心付出一切
只为了承受孤单和寂寞
我知道你不敢对我坦白
是不要看到我的伤怀
虽然你没有说要离开我
我已经感到你不再属于我

如果你还爱我
你不会对我如此的冷漠
又怎会让我在漫漫长夜独自徘徊
如果你还爱我
你不会对我如此的冷漠
我只能含着眼泪默默地离开

btw can someone teach me how to put songs here.. as in the one u can use your ears to listen.. hahahaha. i supposedly have imeem but.. hmm.. well..

HOW!! i v scared. i really hope i can pass econs! haiz ):

stats cant finish.. ): i made some stupid errors.. and towards the end i was so kan chiong cos there wasnt much time left.. i started freaking out.. )':

AHHHHH.

): ): ): ): ):

*complains*

the weather is like super duper warm.. it's like moments after i finish bathing, i'll be perspiring again. and im someone who doesnt even perspire much cos basically i don't really drink water. i don't even perspire during PE lessons last time, unless they make us do 2.4km or conditioning. I CANT STAND IT! and my freaking aircon doesnt seem to be working! i turned it down to 19 degrees celsius already but it's still very warm!! RAWR. and it doesnt help that it's the time of the month like NOW!? oh man.. had cramps last night so i didnt get to sleep well.. and i was perspiring cos of the heat and the pain.. WAH LAU.

3 days to exams! well since im now having the downside of life, i believe thurs and fri will be my upside! IT'S GONNA MAKE MY WEEK. (x

020508
[starstarII]


[sugie]


okay nobody got eliminated.. the show is like soooo flexible?


STUDY STUDY!!

im now like really really really stressed.. rawr.

i cant sleep properly at all! before i go to bed. i'll be like counting the number of days i have left, thinking bout all the stuffs i havent done.. and in the morning when i wake up, i'll be thinking: sheesh, is today my exam!?

and it's really quite bad to be stressed cos i'll be getting the jitters and counting counting counting all the things i havent done.. and i'll waste more time doing those, instead of really studying!

i dunno why im like that! i should have gotten used to taking major exams.. especially the big As which was the worst exam i've taken so far.. maybe cos i have certain expectations of myself this time round. (think: Self-fulfilling Prophecy. so it means if i keep thinking i'll get First Class Honours, i'll get it? hahahahaha.) whereas, as compared to As, i guess i've given up on myself at that point in time.. after going thru the traumatic 2 years..

Sometimes i'll think and think bout why we are all doing these.. After all when we go to Heaven, God wouldnt associate us with the number of A1s we got for Os, number of As we got for As (which i have none) and the number of degrees we get right..

But we are just doing this cos He's worthy of it, i guess?

May my fears be transformed into my strength and wisdom to go thru this gruelling period, dear Lord!

JIAYOU!! 20 days left and i'll be freeee~ (for this year)

and jiayou too to the super stressed DEDUAN!! and to Pei, whom i don't feel like talking to cos her exams are gonna be over like super soon? and.. who else reads my blog.. hahaha. and the First Class Honours Girl - Xiurong.. and the hu8t disney babies~

After exams must meet soooo many people before i start work! MOTIVATION!! :D